Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law had cataract surgery recently, and it did not go well. She can no longer see well enough to drive. Her doctors are evaluating the situation, but in the meantime, my husband asked if I can drive her to appointments and a few other places during the day since my work-from-home job is flexible.
Column by Carolyn Hax
I am an overcareful and nervous driver. I grew up in a city using public transportation and didn’t get my license until after I married my husband.
My driving style irritates my mother-in-law. She yells at me to speed up since I drive the speed limit and to not stop for yellow lights. She complains if I let someone in front of me or if someone cuts me off. That all makes me more nervous, and I slow down or make wrong turns and she gets angrier and louder.
I’ve asked her to be quiet while I drive, but she said I need to learn how to drive. I no longer want to drive her anywhere. He says she refuses to take an Uber, so he’ll have to take vacation time. He’s begging me to tune her out when I’m driving.
I literally cannot do that. I hate to make my husband take time off, but driving his mom ruins my entire day. First there’s the dread, then afterward all the insults and complaints play over and over in my head. That makes it hard to get back into the flow of my work.
Is there a compromise here?
— Nervous Driver
Nervous Driver: The appropriate “compromise” for her grotesque display of entitlement is to turn around and drive her back home. (Vs. say … pulling over and leaving her at a curb. With her phone. Steps from an air-conditioned public lobby.)
